Going the Distance

262psalmDespite the impressive collection of medals and number of races I’ve finished, many days I don’t consider myself much of a runner.

I KNOW.

It’s kind of a ridiculous thought.  It’s related to how SLOW I am and it is all in my too competitive for my own good head.

That’s why I must run a marathon. I have it in my head that I will finally feel like a “real” runner (whatever that is) when I complete 26.2.

However, in typically Amy over-achieving, over-extending style, I’m not going to run just one full marathon, I’m going to run two. In fact, I may try to run three in 90 days, thereby qualifying for Marathon Maniacs. I am already a member of the Half Fanatics.

As I said last night,  this is a daunting and terrifying thought, but at the same time I have this driving NEED to not just complete, but conquer this distance, not once, not twice, but possibly three times in 2014.  I NEED to know I am capable of it. I NEED to know it is possible. I NEED to know how it feels to cross that finish line having battled every demon I know (and some I haven’t met yet) along all those very long miles.  I NEED to know that all the hard work I’ve put into running, re-shaping my body, and becoming an athlete these past two years resulted in the strength to conquer 26.2 miles.

It could be that I am a glutton for punishment and addicted to pushing myself physically.  If so, and if that is what drives me through those miles on May 4th when I start questioning my sanity, fine. In fact, whatever gets me through it will serve me well. As long as I get through it, because a DNF is not an option for me. I will finish if I have to crawl.

I just would like it to take significantly less than six hours or I fear I will continue to not feel like a runner some days. And really, do I need to beat myself up so much and so often? No.  I’m more fit than I’ve been since high school and I’m nearly 45. I have energy to spare. I sleep well at night. I work hard, I train hard, I play hard.

But I want more. I want that 26.2. I want it more than once.

Wanting more is a defining theme of my life, but that’s a post for a whole different kind of  blog…

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2 comments

  • Your determination is awesome! I’ve also never run a full marathon partly because I don’t feel fast enough and partly because I just don’t have the desire. I hope you feel accomplished if you finish just one full marathon!

    • Thank you Andrea. I’m stubborn, once I set my mind on something, especially if it is a personal challenge of some sort, little deters me.