Relax…

relax-for-healthI don’t know about all y’all (there isn’t a drop of Southerner in me, but this phrase is indelibly a part of my lexicon) but I have a hard time relaxing.

As a writer, my mind is ALWAYS going. ALWAYS. In fact, I’ve been saying for awhile that I drink wine not just because it is delicious, but because it relaxes me and because, since I work from home, pouring a glass signifies the end of the day and the time when my home becomes my home again not my office.

On Saturday and Sunday nights I abstained from wine. While this may not be a big deal for most, for me it is huge. I have at least a glass of wine with dinner every night. Most nights I have two or three glasses over 3-5 hours as I wind down from a long day of writing.  So I did a test, and I didn’t have any wine. Do you want to know what happened?

I was up until 12:30am both nights (I usually go to sleep by 11), and FORCED myself to go to bed then. And then I laid in bed tossing and turning like a maniac unable to fall asleep.

You don’t understand, sleeping is my SUPER POWER. I can fall asleep within five minutes of my head hitting the pillow ALWAYS. Well, not always, apparently only once wine lets me relax a bit.

But its more than just that. When I’m on the phone I pace my apartment. I cannot sit and talk. No. That would be impossible.

I cannot waste time. I actually get itchy when it feels like I am.

And contrary to how this sounds I’m not that high strung. I may not relax, but I am pretty laid back. (Possibly too much at times, but that’s a whole other, and way more personal, post)

So March is about balance. I have to find sanity in my schedule. Could I work more tonight? Yes. Should I? Yes. Is my militant need for balance fucking up my bottom line this month? Yes. But it is all for the greater good. If I worked more tonight I’d be up too late and not make my 7a bar method class before work.

Not getting up early would mean I miss my post work trainer session (a tweak of my usual workout for my marathon training) and run. So this month may be painful but it is necessary in the long run. I cannot keep working 12-16 hour days and ignoring my training, my social life, everything else in my life. Work suffers too when it is all I do.

Balance is essential for running and for life.

You guys, it is 138 days until the San Francisco marathon and I am so excited I can’t sit still… oh wait. HA HA

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